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LGBT | Maartje’s Coming Out Story

coming out story maartje

In light of Pride Month we decided to share our coming out stories with you. Everyone’s story is a different one and that’s what makes it so special!

So there I was, right out of a relationship of two years and two months with an incredibly sweet guy. But he was not the right one. The 18-year-old me decided I needed to explore more and I dove right into the student life. I enrolled myself in an artistic and creative student association (kind of similar to a sorority, but different) and went to lots of parties. All the artistic and creative people I met were crazy, way crazier than I was. And I loved it. The free spirit caught me, and I decided being heterosexual was boring. Or maybe I just found out I was curious to explore more of my sexuality.

coming out story maartje

And there it was: tinder. I already new of the existence, but when I subscribed I found out about the option to include women for the search. Totally nervous I started swiping. Interestingly – and a little disappointing – was that most of my matches were men. Maybe I looked too hetero or something. Maybe they know I’m ‘faking it’. And then I got a date, her name was Denise. She’s a cute girl from Aruba that I dated for a month. Honestly, she was not really my type and when I found out she was way more into me – the box of chocolates delivered to my work gave it away – than I was into her, it was time to tell her how I felt. I just might not be into girls, I’m sorry.

Meanwhile, I had already told my mum and oldest younger sister that I dated a girl – on WhatsApp. I guess I was proud of it and wanted to ‘test’ their reactions. My mum responded “good for you, is it nice?” And my sister “oh that’s cool!” I guess they weren’t too serious about it and so was I. As one of the first, I also told my good friend Roxanne about me exploring my sexuality. And then she told me she might be into girls too!

coming out story maartje

Fast forward (read more about it in our love story) – spoiler alert – we’re together. This time, it feels more serious to come out of the closet: just dating girls and boys is different from dating-dating one girl only. As we’re already living together and invited my sister to live in our apartment as well, we had to tell her. “Ehhh… Fem… we’re….ehh… kind of together now.” And her response was: “yeah, okay, so?” And that was that.

My mum found out a pretty awkward way. On a day we went to a theme park, with the entire family, she was determined to get me out of bed herself. Problem: I wasn’t alone in my bed and there wasn’t many sleeping garment going on. My sister tried to prevent my mum from barging in, but she couldn’t help it. That day she asked me “sooo… are you girls just that cosy?” And well, then I had to tell her. And funny enough, she was extremely interested, she wanted to know what it was like with a woman and if I still am into guys too (she still asks me if I’m also maybe interested in a polyamorous-relationship). She also praised herself for raising me this open-minded. I guess it’s a good thing.

coming out story maartje

I am not too sure about how well my mum’s parents took the news. My mum told them, but when Roxanne joined my mum’s birthday dinner (after already 1.5 years of relationship), my grandma asked her: “oh, you could come too??”

Since my parents are divorced, I had to tell my dad another time. He heard the news when we were doing dishes together. I just told him – with weak knees I admit – “so, you know, Roxanne? She’s my girlfriend now.” I’m not sure if it’s his incapability of multi-tasking or if it just was everything he wanted say about it; he said “oh okay”.

The rest of my paternal family took it very well, but since my aunt is also into women I guess it is not a big deal (I mean, her story must be much more interesting than mine). As soon as they heard about Roxanne she was as much part of the family as any members.

coming out story maartje

As for my mum’s question about my sexuality: at this moment I am not a lesbian, a bisexual, or whatsoever; I’m a Roxian, totally into Rox-only at this time.

Read Rox’s story here!

coming out story maartje

What’s your coming out story like? Did your parents take it well? We’d love to hear!

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